I’m okay. I’m getting there.

February 21st, 2018

Sometimes I find myself having a moment of happiness and then having a moment of sadness. I’m not too sure what it is. Every moment seems to be different, caused by other different moments. I keep thinking my times of sorrow are because I’m bored. Because I keep staring at my lovely seating area filled with a bunch of nothings and no ones. Then I have my moments of joy. Moments that consist of me filling my apartment with crazy dance moves and messy curly hair. Moments where I crack myself a joke and think I’m the funniest human being. Moments that are filled with song, and (mediocre) singing. This is a time where I think I’m truly enjoying my twenties. Yet I have such frequent singular moments of happiness and sadness that I have forgot the moments in-between. How do I feel otherwise?

I’ve noticed that in times of great silence, I feel the most sorrow. I must fill the air with music, and voice. Whether it is mine or not. And then I think how times of great silence, allow the opportunity for moments of great joy to be created.

I’m thinking of sharing my blog with family and friends (aka facebook). I never thought to do so before. I don’t even write in here consistently. So why am I thinking of this now?

Attention. I think with every post I make I crave attention to come along with it. I’m still being myself in these post. Everything is true and authentic. I think it’s because with every moment of attention I receive, I hope someone sticks.

No one ever does.

For now, I must be the finder of my own sorrow, and the filler of my own joy.