Check Yourself

To the boy who said,  “I’ve never fucked a black girl before” 
As if the spreading of my legs has anything to do with my race 
As if the melanin make up in my skin is a deciding factor of worthiness for love 
I am not an exception 
I am exceptional  
I am a curly haired goddess who just learned to love herself 
To be honest I’m surprised he looked at me as black  
Many times I am lost in a void of confusion 
Stuck in the middle with neither side of the moon pulling for me 
But I am not a wave 
I am the sand it tickles through 
Majority say I speak with white eloquency but rain black thunder like a lion with my opinionated thoughts. 
I come from the diversified unification of my parents and I am proudly a steady makeup of both of them… I am me 
Many times I’m told who I am based on how others see me 
“Girl don’t act like you’re black” 
I am not exotic  
I am not an animal  
I am my own being   
I am a queen 
And no man will step in my palace who thinks I am nothing more than a check mark on his bucket list  
Don’t question my throne, I will fuck your day up 
Whatever you think I am…I am all of it and much more honey 
I will not let your ignorant infested mind, sicken me with your stupidity  
I will not let your bitterness take away my sweet succulent love 
I am more than just a girl with a pussy  
I am more than just a BLACK girl with a pussy 
My womanhood is the sun and my rays will never shine its warmth on you  
If you look at me as your first time for anything other than losing your virginity, fuck yourself and check that shit off your bucket list 
How many more times do I have to have a good conversation cut short because of dumb foolery 
Obviously too many 
I’m tired of counting 
I’m tired of meeting guys who are infected with a URT 
Undetected Racist Thought  
A disease the holder is unaware of but passes that shit along 
I am a girl who comes from a white mother and a black father  
I come from the descent of backbones made from shards of metal lashes and I am capable of more than you could ever imagine to put on your bucket list 
I am not a colored object you can check off 
I am a woman strong enough to know when to cut boys like you off… 
I am all I am and that is enough  
He said “I’ve never fucked a black girl before” 
I said, “I won’t be your first.

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Alyssa Kinahan-Dundas