The Undeserving

When you try forgetting him but you can’t 
Remember he was never really all that
Remember he loved to talk .TO. you but never with you  
And when you would text him he would never reply back  
The best time to get his attention was drunken nights  
Saturdays to be more exact  
And although you’d always find yourself looking in his eyes  
He never found his way to look back  
Remember that no matter how amazing he could sing and play guitar  
He never strummed the right tune with you  
And even though you thought you were getting comfortable with him  
He made sure not to get too comfortable with you  
He apologized for letting it get too far  
As if the feeling of feeling was too bazarre
Yet he crawled back when you invited him over  
Dropped his apology when you gave him permission to use his boner  
You two never spoke again  
Only the hickeys stayed behind and felt as though they bled  
You told people you hated him 
Though you longed to be his friend 
You never wanted anything more  
Just someone to talk to and maybe occasionally score 
But lunch and a coffee was too much to ask  
Remember that every time you offered he always said he’d pass  
Yet you thought he may have cared 
He would softly scan every curve with his hand  
Even loved your messy curly hair 
But all you can assume is that it was an illusion  
That all he wanted was sex and never saw you as anything resembling human 
You looked at him as someone to groove with, he looked at you as a body to move with 
It sucks  
A lot 
Yet, remember for every guy that screws you over to never fill yourself with hate  
Meeting this boy taught you to let yourself feel for once and never force something that is meant to fall into place  
So when you try forgetting him but you can’t  
Remember he never deserved you because he never gave you a chance

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Alyssa Kinahan-Dundas