Loneliness Doesn’t Discriminate: An Ant’s Perspective
October 11th, 2018
I recently read an article that socially isolated ants die at younger age than ants that are surrounded by others; that an ant will die quicker when lonely because it doesn’t know what to do and its body forgets how to function. It got me thinking…am I much different?
This isn’t a new find. Many animals react negatively to isolation, but the question is why? Must we surround ourselves with others to survive? If loneliness can cause an imbalance of energy in ants, making them unable to digest food properly, what does that mean for me? Will I die at a younger age because I am lonely, or am I lonely because I live as if I’m already dying?
No, I’m not lonely all the time. No, I don’t keep myself isolated from the rest of the world. Yes, I thrive in social settings. Physically, I am present. Mentally, I am absent. If my mind is hidden away, does that mean its energy will become imbalanced? Will I become imbalanced?If my mind should go…surly my body will next.
If so, at least I can begin to understand myself. Begin to piece together the reasons I am falling apart.
Recently, I have been traveling alone, returning home alone, and have done nothing but sit in classes and work on assignments…alone. In the past 72 hours I have said very little. Even as I write this I sit in silence. This morning I Ubered to class and tried speaking to the driver…tried. When I opened my mouth not much came out. I sounded sick. It was as if I hadn’t spoken in so long, I had forgotten how to use my voice. As if my body was trying to make the whole world feel like I should have stayed home. Was I slowly fading away? Was my voice the second thing to forget how to function, after my mind? Was I too an ant?
Will I die at a young age or have I already begun to?
Tiny or large, we all need love and I’m beginning to accept that no matter how much you love yourself it is not enough to stop you from starving. You cannot feel full with just one. Balance cannot exist without two. Without you, there is no me…without me, there is no you. By merely existing in the presence of others, you are given life and giving life.
I will love myself as much as I can, and will continue working towards loving myself more each day. That way, when it’s time for my love to be shared its energy will attract another equal in measure. A love that, when combined, is balanced, yet heavy.
I just hope it’s not too late. That I have more time than my fellow lonely ant. Because no one, not even a teeny tiny ant, should die…alone.