Dear Self: You are beautiful, you are light.

March 12th, 2018

For the first time in a long time I felt that no one deserved me. Not for how “amazing” I was but rather for how disgusting I felt I was. This was the first time, I truly hated myself and felt it was best for no one to have me. The longer I thought like this the more I became mad with myself. Why was I feeling like this? I am a confident person. I usually think (and know) I deserve the best and someone deserves the best of me. But at that moment I didn’t have a best to give. My skin was crawling instead of glowing. This moment was short, and luckily died quickly. I am scared though. I have never felt such a feeling. I never thought I would ever experience such a darkening presence. I am a woman of power, love, strength, and independence. Why did all of that disappear? I am truly shocked and disappointed with my own self.

I guess I am not invincible.

That I too, am vulnerable to the evils of darkness.

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Alyssa Kinahan-Dundas